A piece of advice for side chicks

If he's willing to sleep with you, but not willing to make you his main girl , that's because he doesn't care about you. When he's telling his a wife or girlfriend that you were "just sex," that's literally how he viewed your relationship. If you knew he was taken and still went after him, you have no one to blame for your heartbreak but yourself.

For Couples and thoes about To Get Married

FOR OUR MEN:
Carry your wife to the bed when she sleeps off in the sitting room, make her feel like a baby at times. The truth is, every woman wants to be treated like a 2yrs old girl at times, that's why women behave childish or silly at times.
You may have an argument with your wife and the next thing is that you will see her putting her bags outside the house, it doesn't mean she is asking for a divorce, she is just being childish, she simply wants you to hold her, look her in the eyes and say "I am sorry for the argument".
That's women for you. Every brother needs to study in the university of women before getting married, read books about them, learn what the Bible says about them and you will hardly have a problem with them.
Though there may still be some challenges, because you're both from different background and your imperfections are bound to stand.
So, read books about marriage, an ideal home, child upbringing, importance of marriage and the likes. Don't just jump into marriage with an empty head about matrimony, you will have problems.
How many men can tolerate their wives nagging let alone shouting? It's said that, you should be quiet when your spouse is angry, when one person is fire, the other person should be water.
Brothers, when your wife steps on your feet intentionally or mistakenly, don't let your eyes turn red, just smile at her, if she did it intentionally, she is just playing with you, if she did it mistakenly, its not her fault. So why shout at her over every small mistake?
As a man learn to ignore some things, don't be petty. Some men are feminist; Do "hide and seek" with your wife, sing poems for your wife in the garden or inside the house, even if she is teasing you.
Assist her in the house chores, pound yam, fetch water, don't make her look like your maid. Bathe together, wake her up for prayers, swim with her if it's available, cook together, teach her how to cook if she doesn't know how to cook. Cooking is not the ticket to Paradise. It's not only a feminine duty.
Use blind folds to cover her eyes and tickle her, scare her at times, call her from work/ school, text her, write "I love you" in a small note and put it under her pillow or in her purse or in her bathroom or in her cosmetics box or inside her cupboard. Kiss her always, cuddle her, pamper her and play with her hair. Always tell her, she's beautiful and that you're happy to have her as your partner.
All these are part of being romantic...When a woman tells you that you are not romantic. It means you are not doing all these things, its not the romance in the bedroom she is talking about. That's why, you brothers have to study "women's language" it's a 10 year course.
FOR LADIES:
It is part of your duty to be romantic too. Your shyness shouldn't get to your marital life and that doesn't mean you should be shy to express your love to your husband.
Send sweet text messages to your husband at work, sometimes even if you are in the room discussing with your husband, still be chatting with him on social media (Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, Imo, bbm etc) even though he is right in front of you, it's fun and romantic! Discuss how lovely he is on your facebook timeline, this will trip him a lot.
You should be chatting with your husband, not other men on social media networks.
Buy flowers for him. When eating, give him the biggest meat. At times, bake cake for him to surprise him. Ladies, use your soft voice to sing for him, be creative, a poem like (twinkle, twinkle lovely spouse, how I wonder what you are, up above my world so high, like a diamond in my heart).
Sing poems for him, no shyness is allowed. Don't just be welcoming your husband with an angry face because there is no money in the house, God is our provider. Don't welcome your husband with your body smelling maggi, don't only play with your husband when he receives his salary.
Welcome him with a warm hug always, and when he is going to work, pray to God to keep him safe and for him to be successful. Support him, advise him, wipe his tears, be grateful to him, it's not easy to be a man, when you see his faith waxing cold, encourage him, don't threaten him that you will seek for divorce, don't compare him with other men, buy him gifts, wash his clothes, sing for him, praise him in a way that he wouldn't think of an alternative, be the best cook, wash his car if u have the time, dress him up, pamper him when he is sick.
Wake him with a peck and don't complain about his snoring habit.
Let kiss be the messenger between you. Read books on intimacy, don't learn it from what you see in movies..
Most of what you see there are not real. Call your husband pet names. Though you can also call him by his name even if he is 30yrs older than you, as far as he is comfortable with it.
Remember that, God said, men are the protectors and maintainers of women. So respect him and honour him even if he is younger than you. Marriage isn't a bed of roses but a bed of sacrifice. It's said that, there is nothing better for two people who love each other than marriage.
To fall in love is a disease and its cure is to marry the person one is in love with. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance and you find out you still care for that person.
Finally, married men, divide your nights into 3: one for yourself (sleeping), one for your wife and one for your Lord.. That's the best night one can ever have.

Here are reasons why you are still single

Are you single and constantly thinking: “Why is it that I don’t have a man yet certain people just seem to hop (sometimes effortlessly) from one relationship to another?” Maybe it’s not the right time? Or maybe it is, but you keep practicing the wrong behaviors that always sum to the same result. Here are ten things that keep you single as shared by Paul Carrick Brunson in his book “Its Complicated” (that he has  personally witnessed with his single female clients and friends)
                 
1. You Hold On to Someone Who Isn’t Available There are many reasons someone may not be available to date. Is he separated or married? Perhaps he is living with his girlfriend? If you hold on to such a person, fully knowing that you have to share with someone else, you illustrate the lowest form of self-love, and that won’t get you where you want to go.    
 2. You Don’t Believe When He Tells You the Truth Many times, men will directly say their outlook on the relationship. They’ll say things like, “I’m not interested in anything serious” or “I don’t see myself getting married.” If you hear anything similar, don’t think you’re the one person who can and will change his perspective. Trust me; you can’t; you won’t. Moreover, you’ll just end up wasting your time and resources. You only have the power to change yourself.
 3. Are you a Toxic Date? Toxic dates are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around to make it someone else’s fault. They overreact to bad events. If all of this sounds familiar, “they” could be you. Toxic people are a huge energy drain. No matter how outwardly attractive or successful someone is, toxicity just isn’t sexy.
4. You Don’t Believe In Love If you honestly think you are destined to live life alone, or you are with the thought that Michelle Obama married the “last good man on earth,” you’ll be right. Why? Because our belief is our reality.
5. You Do Nothing Differently My favorite question to ask prospective clients is: “How many dates have you gone on in the last two years?” Most answer “zero.” Then my second question is always, “Are you happy with your number?” Most say no. My final question is always, “What are you doing differently to change it?” Most say “nothing.” The bottom line is this: in every aspect of our life (inclding dating), we can’t do the same old thing and expect different results.
6. You Take Bad Advice from Friends and Family I have written a full chapter on this in my book. Your friends are not relationship experts. Your loved ones often give bad advice. It’s well meaning, but awful, dating advice because they aren’t objective. Plus, they aren’t therapists or dating experts.
7. You Commit Too Soon A top dating mistake that I see my clients make often is going from casually dating someone to exclusively dating that someone within a short period. This trend is a widespread issue. Why, because it takes a good amount of time to observe their values and it you also don’t know someone until you have witnessed them in a time of adversity.
8. You’re Lowering Your Standards to Compete If you are concerned that because there are “so many women” vying for the man you are interested in you must “compete” and do things, not within your value structure (like have sex earlier than planned), stop it. The moment you bend on your boundaries is the moment you begin to bully yourself.
 9. You’re Adhering to Ultimatums Love is not selfish. Love doesn’t come with strings attached. If you have to give in to get him, get out.
10. Obsessing over “Your List.” Do you chase after preferences? (You know, like he must be 6-foot tall and have perfect teeth?) We all have preferences, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem is when we don’t secure our needs first. These are what I call in my book, “your relationship vitals” (values, personality type, non-starters, and attraction traits) and become obsessed with them opposed to what’s on a list of frills. Are you guilty of any of these too? Search yourself ladies and let’s act right!

source: www.kamdora.com

Things every husband wants his wife to QUIT doing

Here is a list of things you can and should quit today to save your marriage from a lot of trouble down the road.

1. Quit saying, "You always ... " or "You never ... "

"You always ruin my plans," and, "You never care about my needs or the kids," are examples of harmful and toxic accusations that can easily degrade your husband's self-esteem.

Starting a conversation with an accusation ignites a fight-or-flight response. It hurts his feelings enough to either make him shut down and hide from the issue or come back fighting.

The best thing to do in this tricky situation is to quit accusing and start working on finding solutions together.

2. Quit comparing your husband to people from the past

Let the past stay in the past. Constantly bringing up previous relationships destroys your husband's self-esteem because it shows him where you are investing your thoughts. Thinking and living in a past relationship is a sign to your husband you are not enjoying the relationship you are in now.

3. Quit acting like you're just hanging in there

Quit making passive comments to neighbors and friends about the tentative and rocky state of your relationship. Mentioning you are "just hanging in there" or "just staying afloat" is negative and harmful to your husband's self-esteem. It diminishes his faith in your marriage. A man wants to know he is in a supportive and stable relationship, not a relationship you are just trying to endure.

4. Quit bringing up skepticism

Never bring up the things you were skeptical about before you got married to your husband. It is upsetting and discouraging to hear your spouse had reservations about committing her life to you and may still have skepticism today.

5. Quit blaming your child's quirky and strange traits on your husband

It is hurtful to blame the negative or less-desirable traits of your child on your husband's genes or behavior. Do not blame your child's misbehavior and naughty antics on something out of your husband's control.

6. Quit degrading your in-laws

In-laws can drive a thick wedge between husband and wife. But, with proper communication between partners, the negative effects can be minimized. Quit talking poorly of your husband's parents.

Instead, talk to your husband about the specific issues you have in your relationship with your in-laws and try to work out a solution together that equally respects both parties involved.

7. Quit addressing his failures

Your husband has flaws today and he will still have flaws tomorrow; no one is perfect. Quit addressing your husband's shortcomings every day. Instead, try having a nightly meeting where you both discuss what went well with the day and what could go better tomorrow.

8. Quit focusing on your social media life

Your husband does not want you to only be happy when you are posing for a picture. He wants you to be happy all the time.

9. Quit dragging your parents and family into your marital problems

Focus on fixing your marriage with the help of your spouse and not with the help of your family. Dragging other individuals into the conflict will only make the situation worse and can create harbored feelings of resentment and mistrust.

10.Quit being ungrateful

Every individual has their own unique love language. Some offer service; others give physical touch, quality time, gifts or words of affirmation. Although your husband may not match your exact love language, take the time to recognize his language.

Understanding how he shows you love will help you find more reasons to be appreciative for all the sacrifices he makes for you and your family.

Source:Family share

Understanding the need for patience in relationships

 Whoever said 'patience is a virtue'knew what he was talking about. Knowing the importance of patience and how to keep it can transform your relationship for the better.

  In every relationship, fights and arguments occur but how do you solve this issues between you and your significant other?. Most times in relationships, love is not enough, we need trust,communication, honesty and most importantly 'patience'.There are a lot of relationships ending on a bad note because the couple were impatient.

 Firstly, you should understand the fact that every mature dating relationship needs a lot of patience,there is no one perfect in this world,everybody has their flaws,so its advisable to give the person some time to work on their flaws.

  Secondly, knowing your partner's dislike.In a relationship, a couple is the joining together of two different people and knowing what your partner dislikes and working on it will make a better relationship.  

For my ladies out there,My sexy ladies being patient in your relationship does not mean you are the fool. Most ladies feel if they do not talk back during arguments or insult their man when he gets them angry that makes them a fool,NO!!!. Been a virtuous woman is not bad,applying patience whenever necessary will always reduce chaos in your love life and make your man never regret that he feel in love with you.

 My men out there, I know ladies can be a handful, but keeping calm when she beings to act funny, not hitting her when she pushes you pass your breaking point, having and applying patience helps alot in every mature dating relationship.Sometimes you need to express your feelings for your partner to realise their wrong doing but without a little patience and also self control, things can get really nasty.

 According to Titus Maccius Plautus" patience is the best remedy for every trouble"People need to be mature enough to understand that age is not a criteria for forming a mature dating relationship, understanding is. Patience helps in making a lot of difference. Be patient enough to understand what the other person wants rather than harping on your own needs. Take time to understand each other and the world will suddenly be a better place to be in. 

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

Whether too short, too tall,too skinny,too fat,too dark or fair,too old or young... Once true love exists, no matter what the world says its gonna be you guys against the world.

Beauty is subjective.  What one person loves, another loathes.

There are objective data that indicate certain elements of "beauty" may be common in some cases.  For instance, facial studies indicate that human responses to facial symmetries and self-similarities can be predicted in aggregate.  Musical interests are also studied, and the results show clusters of taste and approval.  However such studies necessarily are limited in scope; none attempts to quantify "beauty" per se, but only to describe aggregate human evaluations.  The individual responses remain subjective, variable, and unpredictable.

People decide what they like and what they do not.  We do not all decide the same way.  The choices vary among persons, across cultures, across times of life and times in history.  Individuals can always be found whose tastes are several sigma away from any mean.  So we say that "beauty" is not intrinsic to the beheld, but resides in the beholder.

WOW...YOU NEED TO SEE THIS

 People are really coming up with creative pre_wedding pictures.The pre-wedding pictures we keep seeing are totally dope; some in their simplicity will make your heart warm up with emotion and the others would dare you to make a difference and do something with yours too. It is more than beautiful seeing couples explore their artistic instinct along with the unrelenting photographers who sweat morning and night trying to capture the right moment.

Nigerian couples sure invest a lot when it comes to the pre-wedding photo session as they aim to capture beautiful moments they would continue to treasure for life. Some of these pre-wedding pictures are weird, yet aimed at being natural and unique. We know it is boring getting to copy and repeat other people’s styles when you could easily create yours. Thus we appreciate these couples who have not failed to wow us with these amazing pre-wedding pictures.

Question for my Ladies

Ineffective Ways of Dealing with a Jealous Partner

Most people handle an overly jealous partner in ways which makes the problem worse.

When a partner is jealous they often behave in ways that are controlling, manipulative, invasive and overly needy . When partners behave this way, the natural response is to pull back, withdraw, and reassert one’s autonomy and independence, which in turn usually involves some secrecy and deception

For instance, if a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, calls ten times a day checking to see what you might be up to, the natural response is to avoid such calls, return them less frequently, and become secretive and evasive when answering such questions.

Again, it's normal to try to hide things from partners who are overly inquisitive or who deal poorly to the truth 

The problem with using secrecy and withdrawal to deal with a jealous partner is that such responses only create more anxiety on the part of the individual who is already suspicious and jealous. As a result, jealous individuals act in ways which are even more disruptive (i.e., more phone calls, snooping, invasive questions, pouting, and so forth).

Very quickly, the following pattern becomes the norm: jealous individuals become more jealous while their partners begin to hide and conceal more of their activities, thoughts, and feelings. Over time this pattern of behavior can become a source of conflict—pulling many couples even farther apart. And if this pattern is not broken, partners often turn to someone outside of their relationship for love and understanding.

How to Deal with a Jealous Lover

A better way to deal with an insecure and overly suspicious partner is to deal with his or her fears and anxieties directly.

Making God the foundation of your relationship/marriage

                                                 
I know some people will disagree with me on this one,because most people I have met do not deem it necessary to get God involved in their love life. I'll like to make you see reasons why you need to make God the foundation of your love life.

• Finding the right person

You are single and you met this really nice Lady/guy,you begin to observe their characters in order for you to approach,but how will you know if this person is the right person for you. Most times,a person may seem right but may not be right for you. The best thing to do is to get God involved in this situation, pray about it,let God lead you right.

• Regular arguments and fights

Your partner suddenly developed some strange attitudes/characters, you approach them about it but still no improvement,with this,this leads to you being unhappy with your partner,then fights may come up. Fighting,screaming, daily arguments with your partner cannot change things,it only leads to more fights. The best thing to do is to let God take control,God created your partner,he is best for the job.

• Financial issues

Your partner doesn't have a job,and is having financial issues and you are not capable enough to assist. People will always promise and fail,but one person who can help in this situation is "GOD"(as long has you have faith).
  When you make God the foundation of your relationship/married life,trust me,its gonna be awesome. Because he will lead you both on the right path and wont lead you astray,when storms come upon your love life,you will still be strong,why? Because God is always there for you.
Ladies always pray for your man,wife's always pray for your husbands, single ladies pray for that special man coming your way soon and guys should please do the same. Pray together has a couple if you have the chance because"A couple that prays together stays together".

Ciara and Russell Wilson in England for their wedding

  According to TMZ singer Ciara and her fiancé, NFL player Russell Wilson will be getting married by the weekend in England. The couple is currently in England with 100 of their close friends and family members. The photo above, which looks like they already got married, with Ciara wearing white, is supposedly a photo of the couple on their way to a pre-wedding dinner.
Ciara supposedly had a bachelorette party in Vegas 2 weeks ago.

OMG, is Amber Rose now dating another Khloe Kardashian's ex, French Montana?

The mother of one was spotted hopping into French Montana's car and leaving with him after the two partied at Nobu with other celebrities on 4th of July. There are now rumours that Amber is dating French, who used to date Khloe Kardashian.
But here's the thing, what makes this whole thing weird. Amber dated Kanye West, Kanye married Kim. Amber is rumoured to be dating French, who used to date Khloe. Khloe used to date James Harden and James Harden once dated Amber. Amber briefly dated Trey Songz, who is now rumored to be dating Khloe. Looks like Khloe and Amber have same taste in men!

love and obsession

 Love and obsession,hmmmm,most people think its the same thing. Let me analyse it to the best of my knowledge. When you're in love with someone,you love the person with all your heart and you won't wanna hurt the person,you don't possess them and you don't make them feel entitled to you. But when you're obsessed,its a little more dangerous or scary,you do anything to ensure the person likes you,you make them feel entitled to you, it feels like they are being g suffocated.
In some scenerios,when you're in love with the person and it doesn't work out,you let the person go because you still want good for the person even though it doesn't work out but when you're obsessed"IT MOST WORK OUT"

Are you interested or already involved with a person born in july.Read this........

The two zodiac signs associated with the month of July are Cancer and Leo. People born from July 1st to July 22nd are members of the Cancer zodiac sign. A person born under Cancer can be identified by their emotional and intimate nature.

        CANCER LOVE AND SEX

Cancer is a very emotional sign, so for them feelings are most important when it comes to love and romance. Gentle and caring, Cancer will show off its sensibility without any thinking. For partners, they always choose a person who is able to understand them better. Superficial or too ambitious partner is not welcome for a person born under the sign of Cancer.

Cancer is loyal and dedicated towards their partners, and will bestow its love and affection by showering material gifts and verbal appreciation. Cancer is a dedicated partner who loves children and marriage.

              HOW TO ATTRACT THE CANCER WOMAN

Cancer personality can be quite complicated, but deep inside they are home-loving and conservative people. Cancer women are very vulnerable and emotional and not likely to quickly fall in love. However, once you earn her trust, the Cancer woman will be passionate and loyal partner. If you want to seduce her, you will need to be the one to make the first move.

Despite her cautious nature, she is very erotic and enjoys expressing her feelings in a sexual manner. So, if you have the patience to win her heart, you will be very well rewarded.

The woman born under the Cancer zodiac sign is probably not the right choice for a man who wants to have only a sex partner for a one-night stand. However, if you are a romantic man and you believe in true love, then you should definitely focus your attention on a Cancer woman. If you want to seduce her, you will need to be romantic and in tune with what she's thinking and feeling even if she does not tell you.

To keep the Cancer woman in your life, you must be faithful, respectful and honest. The woman born under the Cancer star sign will never forget a betrayal.

          HOW TO ATTRACT THE CANCER MAN

The first thing you need to know about the Cancer man is this: you will probably have to make the first move. He suffers from a fear of rejection, so if you want to seduce him you will have to do all of the legwork.

Cancer men are complex individuals, who are very sensitive, shy and protective. In order to seduce a Cancer man, you will need to make him feel safe. A man born under the Cancer astrology sign are usually attracted to women who are feminine. Subconsciously, he wants to find a woman who fits his image of the ideal wife and mother.

Some of the negative Cancer traits include moodiness, pessimism, and clinginess. However, they also have many positive traits, so some of the positive Cancer characteristics include creativity, spontaneity, loyalty, and generosity. The Cancer man is an emotional person, who loves to take care of other people.

Make him feel needed, because the Cancer likes to take on the traditional male role of a protector. They desperately crave affection, so offer him a kind word about his skills, his appearance, or the way he makes you feel. However, keep in mind that your compliments should always be subtle and genuine. The Cancer man tends to be emotional, so he is typically attracted to women who are equally expressive in their emotions.

WELCOME TO JULY

Welcome people to the 7th month of the year 2016,wow we'av passed half of the year(God is Great). Just want to appreciate everyone who has been viewing this blog. Thank you people for taking your time to View my blog,click on the links you see on Facebook,some of you even take time to share the post with your friends. Thank you all,May God bless you all and make this month be a good one for you and your family.AMEN