SELF LOVE

Self-love is the ability to love, care and appreciate yourself, your body shape, your skills etc. It is also the ability to stand up for yourself despite being hurt, let down, neglected, rejected and humiliated.




There are several quotes on self-love these days, mostly images with quotes on social media handles, others use the word in form of hashtags but sadly very few understand what the word truly means.




I have come to realize that mostly those who have been badly hurt either emotionally or physically by those they love e.g. family, friends and significant other and then finally gained their strength and happiness back are those who truly understand the concept of self-love and the reason why it’s important to love one's self.




Loving and giving freely to people is something few people are good at but the mistake most people make is pouring all the love and affection on others while neglecting themselves in the process. They do everything in their power to cater for the interest of others at the detriment of their own interests, they put others first before thinking about their needs. They think not being there for others is being selfish. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s wrong to be nice to people, but never at the expense of your needs and comfort.




Have you noticed that those who give freely to others rarely get the same love and affection back?



Have you noticed that when they are in need, they rarely get help from those people they helped?




Have you noticed that they are seen as weak and are mostly taken advantage of? This is really painful, it is generally agreed that the world we live in is filled with wicked people, but there are still few people with kind hearts and the best thing we can do for them in all sense of humanity is to appreciate and cater for their interests, instead of repaying their good with evil and their kind words with harsh words which eventually turns them into a cold and emotionless being.




I have seen ladies and men give their all in relationships, they loved their partners wholeheartedly, catered for their significant other and stood by them despite what people and even family members said about them but at the end, they were paid back with hurt, insults, humiliation and disgrace.




This article is for those who have lost themselves in the process of pleasing others, who have decided to develop a heart of stone due to what they have passed through. Changing who you truly are and being a bad person is not the right solution, becoming a wicked person in order to stop being taken for granted is not the solution. I've been there, I’ve been hurt, I've given my all for the sake of love and had it thrown back to my face, I’ve been backstabbed by friends I stood up for, family members I loved and looked up to. I've been taken for a fool because I wanted to do everything in my power to make certain people in my life happy. But I'm grateful to God for giving me the strength to pull through.



Although due to the hurts I realized I started turning into a very aggressive person, ready to attack anyone who tried to hurt or insult me. The downside of that however was that I was hurting those who truly love me and care about me in the process because I was blinded by my past experience to realize genuine empathy form those who truly care. I denied myself the joy of being genuinely loved by people who matter but thank God for those who drew my attention to this bad transformation which made me decide to take my time to think and reflect on my past experience of hurts and emotional abuse. I realized I had to move on and heal from everything I had experienced. During my healing process, I realized if I had loved myself better than I loved the wrong people, their harsh words said to me won’t have gotten to me.



When I took the bold step of cutting off all those who hurt me, forgave them and made sure I never let myself get hurt by them again. I started to discover myself more, realized how badly I’ve been hurting because I allowed their opinions about me take control of my thoughts. I realized I smiled more, laughed more, glowed, added weight, increased my confidence level and things got better for me because I finally realized true happiness begins with me and in most cases ends with me. My happiness should be my number one priority and I shouldn’t rely on other people to guarantee my happiness.




I really wish people wouldn’t have to go through the same pain, rejection and hurt I went through before they begin to love themselves. I really wish they could realize that its fine to love and cater for others but never at the expense of your joy and peace, never allow people’s opinions about you get to your inner consciousness and never define yourself based on societal definitions. If you don't stand up for yourself and embrace who you truly are, you are making their job to pull you down more easy, if you don't believe in yourself, it will make people push you around at their own whims and caprices and make you live their own lives at the expense of maximizing your own best lives.

Be bold, Be confident, discover yourself, stand up for yourself, love yourself, look good ,dress well, smile more, stay far away from bad energy, be closer to God because he's the only one who'll give you the strength you need. Be good and fair to all men but never at the expense of your own self-fulfillment and finally, remember never to punish people for the hurt others have imposed on you.

And for those who have found their strength and happiness back after being hurt and damaged, CONGRATULATIONS I'm happy for you, I pray that your happiness, joy and peace of mind won’t be taken away from you & please I’ll like for you to join me in making people realize that IT ALL BEGINS WITH YOU and looking good isn't all about food. IT IS PEACE OF MIND



Article written by Me
Edited by Mr Tejumola Taiwo